Beginning of the Big D

I am the type of person that will try not to cry in front of the husband when he leaves for deployment.  I try to hold it in as possible because I have to be strong for him and also for Zander.  Zander had school so he told daddy bye at home and after he got on the bus we went to the airport.  We spent time on base together saying our goodbyes and I made it last as long as possible, but of course I had to let him go.  I decided to go grocery shopping a couple of days early to keep my mind off of the hubby leaving and it worked.  Zander cried when he got home which broke my heart and made me want to cry.  Now it is night time and it is just lil man and I are the only ones here I just want to cry and cry, but I am doing great so far.  I keep telling myself I get to talk to him tonight.  Just this deployment feels different from all the other ones we have had.


On a good note it is almost December just a day away and Zander and I will be going home for the holidays.  That is something for us to look forward to, even though Christmas will be different this year, but we have family and friends to help us through.  I am also doing things to keep me busy.  The first thing on the list is to organize pictures in the albums I bought.  I have photos everywhere in this house and it is time to organize them.  I also have to finish Christmas shopping and get some stocking stuffers for Zander.

I am going to go for now and get somethings done like school work and wait for my phone call.